Addressing the Tournament
Posted by: The Genetic Freaks on 01/15/2003 at 20:58
(The camera comes on and shows Chris Candido and Scott Steiner hard at work in a gym at GeniusIQ Industries. Candido and Steiner are obviously getting ready for the Big Dick Dudley Memorial Tag Team Tournament and their first round match against Shane Douglas and Lance Storm. Sunny and Midajah are watching on as Candido and Steiner take on a young tag team from the FTR's developmental program. Steiner nails one of the wrestlers with a dragon suplex, folding him up like an accordion. Chris Candido nails the other with the Blonde Bombshell. Steiner locks in the Steiner Recliner as Candido locks in a modified Dragon Sleeper on the other. Both men tap out immediately. Steiner and Candido leave the ring and Midajah and Sunny offer them water and towels.)
Steiner: Can you believe this crap? A tag team tournament? I should be the World Champion right now, but IQ told me to throw the match so that people wouldn't think he was cheating for me.
Candido: It's not right.
Steiner: Now, IQ tells me to join the tag team ranks, at least he gave me a half decent tag team partner.
Candido: I know I'm still slipping, but I gotta get the hang of these new bionic parts.
Steiner: Whatever, just get your shit together by Rampage. We got some people to take out.
Candido: Yeah, Douglas and Storm. Shane, Lance, I've teamed with you both in the past, back in ECW. The Triple Threat, Tag Team Champions. You two never deserved to be associated with me. IQ taught me that. Shane, you're one of the reasons my life turned to the crapper. You cost me my health and almost my sanity. Lance, well you just plain suck.
Steiner: Hehehehe. You see Douglas, you call yourself The Franchise, but that was in a different place at a different time. What you were The Franchise of, that doesn't even exist anymore. When IQ went looking for someone to rebuild his wrestling team around, he came to me, Big Poppa Pump, Freakzilla, The Big Bad Booty Daddy!
Candido: Now, a lot of people, they've been saying that Three Minute Warning and The Genetic Freaks should just pack up and give in. IQ's pushing for The Dudleyz to win. Now, that may be true, but look at the way the tournament brackets are set. IQ is no dummy. He set it up so that we beat Douglas & Storm this week, next week we beat either Two Old Geeks or The Mama's Boys, and then we face The Dudleys. Meaning, one of us will be in the finals. Then look at the other half of the brackets. Three Minute Warning beats The Inbreds, then beats either Team Puff-a-lot or The Deadly Weinies, then beats either The Superfriends or the O-L-D or the Prince of Insufficent Light and his little butt buddy or Pee and See. That means the finals of the tournament end up being Three Minute Warning and either The Dudleyz or The Genetic Freaks. One way or another, The Family wins the tournament and Big Dick Dudley is properly honored.
Steiner: And then once that's done, I can get my Iron Man Title shot, and get back on the road to being the World Heavyweight Champion. It's only a matter of time before that gold belt is around the waist of Big Poppa Pump. Douglas, Storm, you're first, and The Dudleys and Three Minute Warning already know, when it comes to being in the ring on opposite sides, there's no such thing as Family.
