You gotta put the past behind you (Vader, Chavoman, Richards)
Posted by: Big Show on 01/11/2003 at 00:15
*The theme of Sesame Street plays. Camera shows a front door made of cookie. A hand rings the doorbell. The door opens; Cookie Monster and Big Show answer the door and have gleeful expressions.*
Cookie Monster: "Why HELLO, kids! Our good friend, Michael Cole, just arrive here. MICHAEL! Come on in!"
Michael Cole: "I think I'd rather not, I mean with the way you've treated me in the past and what happened to Elmo...is he awake yet?"
Big Show: "Consider him written off Sesame Street. He really doesn't help our new image on Sesame Street's new look."
Michael Cole: "By the way, we haven't heard from either of you since Rampage. What have you been doing?"
Big Show: "Over the past week, I've been having some little...talks...with some people, including Jerry Lawler, who should really watch our show and General Jarret's Neighborhood and learn a few things, since he obviously is the biggest idiot ever."
Cookie Monster: "And, Michael, about the problems between us, you got to put the past behind you."
Big Show: "And THAT, kids, is the theme of today's show!"
Cookie Monster: "That's right, kids. If you stayed up to watch this past Rampage, you notice Show lose to bad, bad Vader. Is Show mad? No. Is Show sad? No. Show put past behind him. But, people think Show a loser. Kids, Styles and Lawler, even people who have no problems with us, such as Eddie Guerrero. Is Show a loser? No. Show know this. He know what really happen."
Big Show: "That's right, Cookie. Cole, let's roll the footage of what YOU saw at Rampage."
*The camera from behind the casket shows Big Show rolling Vader into the casket. Vader is in the casket, and Big Show comes to the front of the casket. The ref comes by the camera. He slams the lid, but it is stopped, and shoots right back up. Vader gets out of the casket and goes on to win the match.*
Big Show: "Let's take a look at that same footage, but from a different angle."
*This angle is from the side of the casket. Vader is in the casket, and Big Show comes to the casket. In slow motion, the lid comes down...but Vader's stomach kept the lid from closing all the way! The lid shoots back up, and the match continued.*
Cole: "Wow! That sucks! What do you have to say about that?"
Big Show: "You see, kids? Big Show was screwed into a rematch, and this time for the Extreme Title. Am I pissed? HELL NO! Like the theme of the show, I put the past behind me. This just means that I get to pulverize him at the next Rampage."
*Cookie Monster whispers something into Big Show's ear.*
Big Show: "Excellent idea, Cookie. Here's a cookie! *Cookie devours it.* You see, we should both rule this match as a draw, Vader. The first time you tried to put me in the casket, I was too tall for it. The time I tried to put you in it, you were too fat for it. So, both of us should have won at one point, yet didn't because of the FTR crew, which I have taken care of. So, Vader, let's take this match for the Extreme Title one step forward. What happens after someone is put in a casket, kids? THAT'S RIGHT! You BURY them! I suggest we make this match a BURIED ALIVE MATCH!"
Cookie Monster: "You see, kids, Vader is what grown-ups like us call a 'dumbass'. Vader thinks he so great because he 'won' against Big Show. He damn well knows he not really win. Vader say Big Show was 'in control' and that now Vader is. Since when Show in control? Last time Cookie check, IQ, whether you like him or not, is in control. Oh yes, Vader was right about one thing. Vader say Show's 'Time Has Come'. Vader right. Show's time has come. His time has come to become one of the greatest Extreme Champions in the history of FTR. He already had one defense against an unknown opponent, which turn out to be Chavoman. What a joke that was! Just like the kind of joke two of the matches at Rampage will be: Big Show against Vader, and Big Show in a handicap match against Chavoman and Stevie Richards."
Big Show: "Cookie, we all know this, just eat some cookies. Well, kids, that's all the time we have for today. Thank you, Michael Cole, for joining the show."
Michael Cole: "Well, thanks, Show! I guess we can be friends now, huh? I mean, I used to hate your guts, but now..."
