The Definitive Interview: Eddy on RVD, Disorderly Destruction, and other FTR News...
Posted by: Eddy Guerrero on 01/10/2003 at 16:49
*We fade in to a plush hotel room, probably near the FTR's next event. In this room, we see 2 white leather recliners positioned to face each other, each with a person sitting in them. On the right of the screen, in his traditional black garb and hat, is Jim Ross. On the left, wearing his "Eddy Guerrero Is My Favorite Wrestler" tee and jeans, is Eddy Guerrero.*
JR: Welcome, fans, to this exclusive interview with World champion Eddy Guerrero. Again, I want to thank you for granting me this time, Eddy, and congratulations on winning the World title. I must say I was VERY impressed with the RVD match on Rampage.
EG: I appreciate it, ese. Thanks.
JR: Anyways, many people have been questioning your, um, strategy for the win on Rampage. Several people really doubt that you legitimately meant to lose the Kidman and Meng matches.
EG: Oh really? Like who?
JR: Well, Meng for instance. Roll the clip.
*We see a shot from Disorderly Destruction's last interview...*
Meng: Eddie, I don't believe I heard you correctly. Did you try to pass of my win as something you planned? Don't try, Eddie, don't even try. I beat you and you know it. You TRIED... you tried hard, but there was nothing you could do. You knew from the second we stepped in the ring that you were dead. You knew that you couldn't beat me. You couldn't in the past, and you couldn't now.
*Back to the hotel.*
JR: Any thoughts?
EG: Meng has a lot of good points here, Ross, but ultimately is still perhaps the biggest moron in FTR history. First off, he DID beat me and I DO know it, because I intentionally lost. Hence the IDEA of me FAKING the non-World matches. Second, I did not know from the second I stepped in the ring that I was "dead." After all, I clearly am alive and well now, aren't I? Lastly, I couldn't beat Meng in the past? When the HELL did I fight Meng in the past, ese? I don't recall the Tongan retard and I clashing any other time. On the whole, he's just making it all up here. And, may I add, I don't remember when Meng joined the ranks of the literate to begin with.
JR: Those are fairly harsh words, Eddy. Can we expect another Eddy-Meng match?
EG: I doubt it. What's the point? Disorderly Destruction are small fish in the FTR ocean. What have they accomplished? A win over someone trying to lose and a close victory against the Big Show? Meanwhile, the Fatal Army, well, mainly ME, tricked the FTR into basically HANDING me the World strap. If they want to compete with us, they best step it up a notch, ese. Until they do, screw them.
JR: Disorderly Destruction has only been here for one card, Eddy. The Army's been an FTR mainstay for quite some time.
EG: In any case, they're not ready.
JR: Moving on, the Kidman match, even if you say you were not trying-
EG: I wasn't. Period.
JR: -right, was still spectacular. Any thoughts on Kidman?
EG: I had to make him hate me to convince RVD it was a real match. I needed someone that Rob would see me against and say, "Eddy'll wear himself out against that guy." And I found the perfect person. Did I have to manipulate Kidman into thinking he beat me via his own merit? Yes. But he got the US title out of the deal. That's a WAY better screwjob than most people get out of me.
As far as if I'm mad at him, no. It was stupid to leave the Army and break up a great tag team, but Mortis and Undertaker are probably gonna handle him. I really could care less.
JR: Speaking of tag teams, there's talk of a Los Guerreros comeback for the Tag Tournament. Will you and Chavo enter?
EG: Not a chance. Chavo's contract with the FTR is strictly managerial. Plus, with as long as he's been out, he feels too rusty to come back to full-time wrestling. Chavo doesn't want to compete, and I don't blame him, really. On the same note, don't expect me in the tournament period. I just don't see who I'd team with. With Kidman gone and Chavo managing, I don't see me in the tournament.
JR: Now onto the big issue. You have already granted Rob Van Dam a shot at regaining his title. Considering the battle you went through on Rampage, this is unprecedented, since most champions take some time to recoup. What can we expect from this Ladder Match?
EG: Your guess is as good as mine. I hate to admit it, but RVD is close to a match for me. The Three-Way Dance with Steiner proved it. Rob brings his best in every match and never lets up out there. Having said that, I still would place my bets on me. I showed last week that I can beat him one-on-one, and now it'll be in my favorite match without a Fonzie or a Chavo or a Sabu or an Undertaker to taint it. As much as I hate the fans, I love giving them a good match, and it'll be as good as it gets. Can RVD beat me? Yes. Will he? No. Will it be close? Oh hell yes. But still, my hand will be raised at the end of the night.
JR: On a side note, saying you win and retain the title, what about future competitors?
EG: Who else is there? I mean, really.
JR: Well, for one example, Jeff Jarrett has been doing quite well as Iron Man champ. He is two wins away from completing the challenge, in fact. How do you feel about the prospect of Jarrett/Guerrero.
EG: I hate it.
JR: What?!?!
EG: I absolutely hate it, ese. Jarrett is the most worthless piece of shit in the FTR today-you can quote me there.
JR: This comes as a shock-
EG: What, you couldn't tell? I FIRST showed up in the FTR running him over with a car-that was no accident. Then I beat him senseless, leaving him the shell of a man we see today. He thinks he's hosting a children's show because I damaged him so bad. Every time I see that set, I just wanna destroy him that much more. Mark my words: Jarrett will never come near this title again. Period.
JR: One more question...
EG: I think you've stayed long enough, ese. You've hit areas I don't talk about. Now make like a tree and get the fuck out.
JR: What?
*Eddy stands, walking towards JR in a menacing manner. Taking the hint, JR quickly gets up and leaves as we fade to black...*
