The screen comes alive with the image of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin outside of his large house in Texas. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, and our cameraman is apparently mesmerized by it.
Austin: "Is there something wrong with you?"
Cameraman: "No sir."
Austin: "Well hell, I ain't talkin' just to hear myself. You and everybody else needs to listen to me."
Cameraman: "I'm sorry Mr. Austin, but your property is absolutely amaz-"
Austin: "SHADDUP!
"You come down here to Stone Cold's house. You look at his property. You like the land. You think it's pretty. You think it's beautiful. Amazing? Breathtaking? Stunning? Stunning Steve Austin? What? Are you calling me Stunning Steve? What?"
Camerman: "Huh?"
Austin: "I said shut-up, dammit. I've got some things I want to say...and do you think that I can say them with you over there jabberin' on like a jackass in a tree?
"EH-EH!
"That just ain't gonna happen. So what you can do is sit there and let ol' Stone Cold finish up what he was saying.
"When I got home, after drinkin' a few beers and having a few words with Debra, I turned on the television to take a gander at Rampage..because hell, the FTR is so damn cheap that it won't even broadcast a live television show.
"So I watched the damn show, and something caught my attention. Ol' Stone Cold set his beer down on the table and watched as The Rock made his way to the ring to spin his little nursery rhymes and sing along with his little fans. Well Rocky, I don't give a CRAP about any damn catch phrases you come up with, and I don't give a CRAP how many damn fools chant your name, the bottom line is you ain't never gonna be bigger than Stone Cold, and that's just the way it is.
"You see, you run back and forth to Hollywood and make yer little movies and go on the talk shows and laugh along with Jay Leno and Regis. You talk about how much you like Elvis and how big a sacrifice it was when you had to cut your sideburns....and you smile your little monkey grin and everyone claps and cheers and that's that.
"Now Stone Cold could go on those shows if he wanted to, and couldn't nobody do a damn thing about it....but I guarantee you that the first time Jay Leno wanted to piss off Stone Cold.....
"BAM!
"The big chinned bastard gets a stunner!
"You come in here and you want to do this and you want to do that, but you still want to be able to go to Hollywood and star in some little movie, and Stone Cold just thinks that's a bunch of BS, and he's not gonna stand for it!
"So Rocky, when you get ready to stop spinning yer little nursery rhymes...then you just need to get yourself ready for an ass whuppin, because that's what it's gonna be when I see you face to face.
"You want to say just bring it? Hell son, when Stone Cold gets through with you...you can consider it brought!
"And that's the bottom line........
"Cause Stone Cold....
"What?
"What are you looking at?"
Cameraman: "Huh?"
Without warning, Austin kicks the cameraman in the stomach and gives him a stunner! He then picks up the camera himself, and looks into it.
Austin: "And that's the bottom line.......cause Stone Cold...SAID SO!"
