Recruiting (NEW STAR DEBUTS! VIDEO INCLUDED!!!!)
Posted by: The Family on 01/05/2003 at 15:51
(The camera opens and we see a long black stretch limo pulling up to a small bingo hall somewhere in Staten Island. Signs are up all around the bingo hall advertising a wrestling show by UWF. The chauffer exits the limo, and opens the door for the passengers. From the back of the limo, out steps GeniusIQ and his bodyguard Bloodsport.)
IQ: Why the hell have you dragged me to this low class establishment? These guys aren’t even good enough for me to consider them to be any type of threat to the dominance of the FTR in this industry.
Bloodsport: Look, you said you needed new blood in the FTR. Why bother with all these over paid millionaire crybabies? Why bring in a Big Vito, or a Chris Hammerick, when they will only end up turning on you? One of these guys will work harder than them for less money. Trust me, there’s a guy here who I want you to see. Once you see him, I guarantee you’ll want him on The Family’s payroll.
IQ: Alright, I’ll take a look, but I swear, if one of these fat, smelly, disgusting Staten Island stinkwads gets within five feet of me, you’ll be looking for a new job.
Bloodsport: Don’t worry about it. I called ahead and got us a private section to watch the action from.
(IQ and Bloodsport walk into the building and take a seat in their private section – two front row seats with a piece of paper marked “Reserved” on them. IQ takes out a silk handkerchief and places it over the seat of the folding chair, and takes another silk handkerchief and places it over the back.)
IQ: I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming to this rot infested place.
Bloodsport: Trust me boss, it’ll be worth it.
IQ: Well, are we just going to sit here all day or are they going to have a match?
Deep in the downstairs locker room area, IQ and Bloodsport make their way through the sea of sweaty wrestlers. They come to a small group of wrestlers crowded around Paco Loco, screaming at him.
Zieg: THERE WERE F***ING KIDS OUT THERE!
Joe Rules: WE TOLD YOU TO WATCH YOUR MOUTH BEFORE YOU WENT OUT THERE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
IQ: Gentlemen, please, if I may.
Zieg and Joe Rules take one look at the man, realize who he is, and invite him to have a go at the brash young worker.
IQ: Paco Loco is it? I just saw your match. You sir, are a disgrace to this business. You just took everything that my employees, my colleagues, all these men in this locker room, myself included, and everyone who gets into the ring has worked for and pissed it all away by making yourself look like a jackass. In fact, I will personally make sure you never make a dime in this business.
Paco Loco: But, you used to manage the Dud…
IQ: When you spend as much time in the ring as the Dudley Boyz, and have earned their level of respect, then you can do whatever you want, until then, learn your place bitch. Now, where is Bill Ding.
A few of the boys point him out. IQ walks over to the young man as he is untying the laces on his boots.
IQ: Excuse me, Mr. Bill Ding?
Bill Ding: Yeah…oh, OH Excuse me sir. Aren't you…
IQ: Yes I am. I have to admit, I didn't want to come to this jerk water berg, but I'm glad I did. You did a nice job on Paco Pancake up there. Classic stuff. I like to see you guys today sticking to old school ideals. So tell me, how much did that little warm up out there make you tonight?
Bill Ding: Nothing, it was a charity show.
IQ throws two wads of cash at Bill Ding who catches them in his yellow taped fist.
IQ: It made you two thousand dollars. Want to know how to make more?
Bill Ding: Maybe, what is this all about.
IQ: It is about an employment opportunity for the most high profile wrestling organization the world has ever seen. I want you to sign with the FTR Bill Ding. The FTR wants you, no wait, it NEEDS you.
Bill Ding: It needs me?
IQ: Yes. There have been many monsters over the years. Sid, Undertaker, Vader, Kane, all of them at one time or another was dominant. As with all things, time passes, and with time comes age, and to be quite honest, they have aged badly. You, are a new breed of monster, an "Industrial Monster" if you will, ready to tear a path of destruction in the FTR so wide that nothing can escape it. With me backing you, there wont be much to stand in your way. And, as I'm sure you know, I treat my charges, like "FAMILY".
Bill Ding: It's mighty tempting, IQ, but…
IQ: Don't answer me yet. Just think, the best gyms, the best trainers, the best everything. High profile matches. Title shots against big name talent. No more Paco Loco's. Enough of this…Go shower, gather a few of your friends and let me treat you all to a night out. We'll talk more at dinner.
Bill Ding: Ok, it can't hurt to talk. HEY! CBW, Zieg, Kreed, Joe, Lynne, after the show we got plans.
