Team Extreme back from vacation. (Eddie)
Posted by: Team Extreme on 12/08/2002 at 01:23
The scene opens inside a home that appears to be empty, the only sound is a rattling of keys at the front door. A few moments later the house is bursting with life and noises, mostly that of Team Extreme – Bill Alfonso, Sabu and the new World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam. All are decked out in very casual clothes and sporting suitcases and duffle bags. They all drop their bags and make themselves comfortable in Bill Alfonso’s home.
Fonzie – “Oh man, I need a vacation from our vacation! I’m exhausted…too many margaritas and too many senoritas! Mexican whores know how to party!”
Sabu grunts with a sly grin on his face. He takes a seat in one of Fonzie’s recliners and flips on the TV set and begins scanning for recent news on the FTR.
Rob Van Dam – “See that’s your problem, Fonzie. You don’t know how to take it easy and go with the flow. You are all ‘I’M BILL ALFONSO AND YOU MEXICAN WHORES NEED TO RESPECT MY MONEY! COME AND STAY WITH ME AND MY CRISP AMERICAN MONEY!’ when you should have just let me do all the talking and you could have saved some of that dinero. The only cash I had to put out this week was on the local homegrown if you know what I mean.”
Fonzie – “I don’t sound like that…”
Rob Van Dam – “Sure you do, Fonzie. Its always you screaming like banshee, spitting on everything near you and blowing your whistle like one of those Mexican whores. But hey, I get it…its your gimmick and you can’t help it. Its not like you can be like me…its not like you can be Rob (double thumb point) Van (double thumb point) Dam (double thumb point).”
Sabu looks at the two like they are morons and continues to watch television. The Big Show is on screen spitting and gurgling one of his promos and Sabu begins to growl like a dog protecting his dish from someone getting to close. Fonzie and RVD stop their conversation and look at Sabu like he’s a moron.
Fonzie – “That reminds me, lemme check the answering machine and see how every schmuck in the FTR is challenging you to for the World Title!”
Fonzie hits play on the answering machine.
Answering Machine – “Two Messages…”
Both RVD and Fonzie look at each other confused.
Answering Machine – “Mr. Alfonso, oh how I’ve missed you. Why haven’t you called me, lately? This is Candi and I’ve really been needing to get licked….why don’t you call me back soon? We are having special rates for frequent callers---“
Fonzie quickly hits the delete key and skips to the next message – his face is beet red.
Answering Machine – “Mr. Alfonso? This is Ginger with the FTR booking department and we wanted to inform you that Eddie Guerrero has issued a challenge to Rob Van Dam for the World title any time and any place. Thank you, and have a nice day.”
Rob Van Dam – “THAT’S IT?”
Fonzie – “I guess so…what the hell?”
Rob Van Dam – “I would have thought the entire roster would have made a challenge by now and stupid ass IQ would have me fighting Steiner, Stevie, Bloodspunk and Candido in a blindfold the champion match. All I have is Eddie Guerrero asking for a rematch? No Steiner slurring how he was robbed? No Angle whooing? No Cat calling his momma?”
Fonzie – “Only one explanation.”
Rob Van Dam looks at Fonzie from the couch and shrugs.
Fonzie – “They are all scared.”
Rob Van Dam – “Well no shit Sherlock. That never stopped them from challenging and losing before. Sign the match. Put the title on the line. No DQ. No Countout. No Time limit. No gimmicks or any crap like that. Just a match where I can slam a chair into Eddie’s head as often as I want. That lil punk needs to have the sense knocked back into him and I’m just the guy to do it. He wanted to take me to the limit last Rampage? Now I’ll send him over the edge.”
Fonzie – “And if Chavo comes anywhere near the place he’ll have to deal with me!”
The camera catches a glimpse of the TV where the Big Show is finishing up his promo – Sabu leaps from the recliner and attacks the TV. Sparks start to fly as the scene fades out.
