Cookie Monster's Big Return
Posted by: Big Show on 12/06/2002 at 21:10
*Camera shows a little 4-year old boy getting set to watch a new and exciting episode of Sesame Street with his parents.*
“Sunny Day, Sweeping the Clouds Away...”
*Cookie Monster comes out from his cookie home. Kid screams “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me!”*
“What starts with the letter ‘C?’ ‘Cookie’ starts with ‘C’! Let’s thing of OTHER things that start with ‘C’. Well, FUCK THAT!”
*Parents are appalled, send the kid elsewhere while they watch to see what happened to Sesame Street.*
“There nothing more important that cookie. That why Vader going down at Rampage! Vader no like Cookie Monster! Vader think Cookie inferior because Cookie a muppet! Thing is, Vader inferior to Cookie, and definitely inferior to Big Show. Here what happen at Rampage!”
*Big Show steps out of the house with a plastic bag and shoes in his hands.*
Big Show: “Hello, boys and girls! *Changes his shoes.* I have a plastics bag in my hands! Let’s see what is in it!”
Cookie Monster: “Show, this Sesame Street! You watch too much General Jarrett's Neighborhood!”
Big Show: “Oh, right!”
*Big Show opens the bag, pulls out two puppets: Big Show and Vader.*
Cookie: “Cookie show kids what happen to people who talk smack! Let’s do it, Show. Cookie love puppets!” *Cookie Monster turns his head towards the camera.*
*Big Show takes the Big Show puppet, Cookie Monster the Vader puppet.*
Vader: “Vader think Big Show fat and stupid. Cookies suck!”
Big Show: “GRRRR!!!”
*The puppets fight, with Big Show getting 15 chokeslams on Vader.*
Vader: “Vader lose! Stop, PLEASE!”
*The Big Show puppet brings out…A MINI-CASKET!*
Big Show: “GRRRR! COOKIE YUMMY!”
*Big Show lands 10 more chokeslams on Vader, then puts him in the casket. The Big Show puppet raises his hand in victory and does the Cookie Dance. Big Show puts the puppets away*
Cookie: “Hey, it Big Bird and Kermit!”
*Big Bird and Kermit stumble on camera.*
Kermit: “Hello! Kermit the…Frog here. And welcome to Sensamean Street. I’d like to tell you what today’s letter is, but I’m really ffffFUCKED up! Hey, Big Bird, do you know what today’s letter is?”
Big Bird: “Sure. Today’s letter is…joint.”
*Camera shows the parents sitting on the sofa in awe as the show continues. Dad turns off the TV in disgust. Camera shuts off.*
