Interview at Home Depot (Dudley Boyz)
Posted by: Destructive Lightning on 05/17/2003 at 23:42
*We see Nathan Jones and Rey Mysterio Jr. shopping in Home Depot. They turn the corner, only to crash into Michael Cole. Cole is startled, and looks up to see Jones's face.*
Cole: He..he..hello, Nathan, Rey. Fancy seeing you here.
Jones: "Fancy seeing" US here, Cole? What do you think we're doing?
Cole: Uh...uh...shopping?
Jones: Gooooooddd, Cole. Now we're getting somewhere. We're SHOPPING, Cole, and guess WHY we're shopping here at Home Depot?
Cole: You...you...you need a new...countertop?
Jones: NO, Cole, wrong answer! Although...Rey, put that on our list.
Rey: Ah, good one!
Cole: List for what, might I ask?
Jones: What do you think? The list for the Dudleyville street fight.
*There's a slight pause.*
Rey: Why are you still here, Cole?
Cole: Well, I was thinking that, if you don't mind, I could do a quick interview, since I was assigned to do one with you later anyway, we might as well get it over with.
Rey: Nate?
Jones: Eh...why not? But make it quick, we got a bunch of shit to do.
Cole: All right, first, what was with the bar scene?
Jones: One thing you should have understood already, Cole, is that we don't fuck around, no pun intended. The only reason we were there in the first place was because we knew people would look up to us, like we're heroes. We did get our beers, and then the people started talking to us, like we givea shit about them. Well, GUESS WHAT? We don't give a SHIT about the people. Those women? They cost MONEY. There are only two reasons we EVER pay for anything: survival and, of course, destruction. Do we need whores? No. ALL women cost money, and women do NOT fit in the survival or destruction categories.
Cole: What about the beers you bought at the bar?
Rey: Do you EVER pay attention, Cole? The first round was on the house, and the second? The second wasn't for drinking, it wasn't for survival. It was for destruction. And we had some good times, didn't we, Nate?
Jones: We sure did, Rey. Women, well, ALL PEOPLE, keep us from reaching our goals. Look at the Dudley Boyz. The Dudley Boyz would have avoided a beating next week because they would have won at Rampage, but their managers screwed them into a title match for next week. Trust us, Dudz, if you want to remain on top, ditch the managers. You think you're so great? Include a no-interference, managers barred from ringside stip. We're doing you a favor, Dudz, not that it will matter...
Cole: OK, then. Secondly, have you heard what the Dudley Boyz said today?
Rey: Yeah, Cole. We heard it on FTR Radio. And you know what? They have a right to be pissed off about losing the match. They probably should have won the match, like we said earlier. They had us, and there's no excuse for us. I should have seen those little bitches coming backstage. You gotta watch little bitches like them, because they'll do ANYTHING to win a match. But THIS time, Dudley Boyz, we'll be ready. If you had to get your bitch managers to save you from us when we WEREN'T ready, what do you think will happen when we ARE ready? Come on, Nate. We gotta shop.
*Jones shoves Cole out of the way, and Cole looks at the camera, which fades to black.*
