Family...what a bunch of crap
Posted by: Hot Rod on 05/06/2003 at 19:01
*The camera fades up showing a picture of the Univeristy of Michigan. The picture seems to be one used for promotions for the college, since everything in it is perfect.*
PIPER (off screen): Wow, what a lovely place to go to school. Handsome men. Gorgeous women. Sunny skies. Wonderful landscape. Is it like this in real life, Steiner? I sure hope so, since this is the place where you started to believe that your shit don't stink.
*Piper walks in front of the projector that's plastering the picture on the wall.*
PIPER: You claim I don't understand anything. Well, I think I've got a pretty firm grasp on what's going on. I was pitted in this match against you as punishment for roughing up an executive, but you are openly proud of what you did to Todd Pettingil. I'm old fashioned, I know, but that's hypocritical no matter how you fucking slice it!!!
But, now that I think about it, your career has pretty much been about being hypocritical, hasn't it? You started out in wrestling as this pretty boy, purebred Michigan athlete. But what are you now? YOU'RE A BLEACH BLONDE 'ROID MONKEY WITH MORE TRACKS ON HIS ARM THAN MARIO ANDRETTI'S EVER SEEN!!!
So you're only after the World Title? Great. It's good for a boy to have ambitions. But you better be focused on the now, buddy, 'cause you're going up against ONE PISSED OFF SCOTSMAN!!!
You see, ever since I've come to the FTR I've seen nothing but ego, and you, Scotty Too Snotty, have one of the biggest. You ruled the Intercontinental Division? Wonderful. Ruled...isn't that past tense? I ruled an Intercontinental Division myself once.But, as many FTR superstars have pointed out - THAT DOESN'T MEAN DICK HERE!!!
*Piper takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.*
Man, did you pick the wrong time to run your mouth.
You're done with me after my match? I can't wait. Hopefully I'll never have to look in your eyes again after Rampage...although, I don't know if I'll even be able to look into them at Rampage...
Where the hell do your eyes even point at? One goes this way (he points to the left with his right arm) the other goes that-a-way (he points to the right with his left arm) then I think they switch when you try to refocus. Man, if that's not a reason to leave the 'roids alone, I don't know what is. I mean, you don't want to live the rest of your life looking like Perry Saturn, do you?
*Piper chuckles at the thought, then his mood changes to one of grave seriousness.*
Now I'd like to put all this chat aside, if I can. Steiner...I know who "the Family" is. I don't think you know what "a" family is, though. When exactly did you decide to dump your brother Rick on the side of the road, Scotty Boy? Do your "Family" members ever think about that? When are you dumping them for the bigger, better thing? When are the Dudley Boys gonna see the other side of you? The greedy, self-absorbed prick side?
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU RUN WITH IN YOUR LITTLE GROUP, STEINER!!!
Who's going to be in the ring? The Dudleys? Bill Ding? Chris Candido? No. It's you. You may have learned a thing or two from them, but when it comes down to it, you do what comes natural...
...which is flex and kiss your bicep.
Me? What I do best is punch and stomp any punk that pisses me off!!! And right now - I'M GODDAMN LIVID!!! THE PIPER'S COMING, BOY, AND IT'S TIME TO COLLECT!!!
BITCH!
*Piper walks off camera and the slide changes in the projector to the same picture that set Steiner off in the first place - Roddy Piper playing the bagpipes and dancing on two graves, the headstones of which read "Taker" and "Steiner".*
