Re: Re: The Interrogation of Juvi - Part III
Posted by: The JLAP on 05/03/2003 at 13:51
*The Incredible Bulk still stands tall over the seated Juvi, still on the verge of crushing him with that elevated desk, as The Yeast struggles to calm him down. Luckily...*
"BULK! BULK! PUT THAT DESK DOWN!"
*The Incredible Bulk turns to see Chavoman and Epep, who have just swooped in from the upper area of the Hall of Just-Us. Instead of a murderous look, his face twists to confusion.*
Chavoman: If you crush him, we're no better than the vile fiend himself.
Bulk: Oh...*sets desk down* YOU LUCKY, JUVI! ME CRUSH YOU IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN! YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Yeast: Come on, Bulk! We go now. No need for us.
Bulk: YARRRRRRRR!!
*The two make their way out, THUDding up the steps, as Chavoman pulls up a chair. He sits in it, with the back of the chair against his chest. Leaning on the top of the chair, he is eye-to-eye with Juvi.*
Chavoman: They've been asking about why you dressed up as me and caused much havoc in Detroit and Gothamtropolis, right?
Juvi: Of course, what else would they ask? I mean, they don't want an egg salad recipe or anything, genius.
Chavoman: I WILL BE MAKING THE JOKES, CITIZEN JUVI! Now then...I don't think I'm GOING to ask those kind of questions.
Juvi: About egg salad?
Chavoman: Well, not those kind either, but I don't think I NEED questions about motives or who hired you.
Juvi: Really? Cool! So that means I can go, right?
Chavoman: Don't you WISH, Citizen Juvi. Don't you wish. Instead, I'm going to tell you what Epep's been piecing together since Rampage. Epep, the lights please?
*Epep "reaches over" and turns the lights off as a large projection screen lowers. Suddenly, an image appears onscreen.*
Chavoman: This, you see, is Hop Bow. The "Dark Devil," if you will. He had already expressed a desire to go after me and the JLAP after I had received an Intercontinental Title shot. This cannot be denied. Before long, YOUR capers started.
*The image changes to...*
Chavoman: Here's the Undertaker, coming to ringside during the main event. This is after I had caught you, and he apparently wants the Intercontinental belt as well.
*The screen retracts as Epep "gets the lights" again.*
Juvi: So?
Chavoman: Look, it's obvious. Either Hop Bow or the Undertaker hired you. Hop Bow to defame me, or the Undertaker to distract me from the title. Since both are fiends, I will attack them nonetheless.
Juvi: Good idea! You do that.
Chavoman: I will. *Turning to leave*
Juvi: Haha! He'll never know the Off-Screen Voice hired me.
*Chavoman stops, turning around.*
Chavoman: THE OFF-SCREEN VOICE?! AH-HA! You have cracked, Juvi! Tell us, WHO IS HE?! WHO IS THE OFF-SCREEN VOICE?! WHO?!?!
Juvi: Did I say Off-Screen Voice? I...I meant, um, On-Sight Hearing...uh...
Chavoman: Nice try, Juvi! Now the interrogation is getting somewhere. I-\
*The Just-Us Phone begins ringing.*
Chavoman: Please wait. *Picks up phone.* Hello?...ah, hello, Mrs. Richards...yes, the new line's working, so there should be no confusion...now WHY would your son be here, ma'am? He's not an employee...yes, he's a FRIEND, but not on payroll...
*As the two are talking, Juvi begins wrestling with his straps...*
Juvi: By the power of the Juice...I BREAK THEE!
*SNAP! Juvi is free, and Chavoman doesn't see! Juvi walks right by Chavoman!*
Juvi: Later, man.
Chavoman: Later-HEY! WAIT!
*Chavoman sets down the phone, but Juvi has already run out the door. Epep "tries to follow," but Chavoman stops him.*
Chavoman: Don't bother, Epep. He is no longer a threat, but I suspect the Off-Screen Voice will emerge again. For now, we must focus on defeating KNOWN evil.
Epep: .....
Chavoman: Yes. We're not done trying to get the Intercontinental Title, no matter what that vile FIEND OF ALL FIENDS the Undertaker says.
Epep: .....
Chavoman: Oh no...I don't think we'll need him...I HOPE we won't. Nevertheless, we must search out ways to ensure the defeat of the evil Undertaker.
QUICK EPEP! TO THE DRAWING BOARD!
*The two dash off as we fade to black...*
--- The JLAP on 05/02/2003 at 22:31 said --- >*THUD! We're back to the Interrogation Room, with Iron-Stevie still in the Room with Juvi Guerrera.* > >Iron-Stevie: That "thud" is heading for YOU, Juvi. You still don't want to talk? > >Juvi: Nope. > >*THUD! The thud is louder, getting closer.* > >Iron-Stevie: How about now? > >Juvi: N-n-nope. > >*THUD! The thud is louder, getting still closer.* > >Iron-Stevie: Now? > >Juvi: N-n-n-n-n-nope. > >*BAM! The door is blasted open, with a hulking figure looming in the doorway.* > >Iron-Stevie: Juvi, you think I got mad? Wait til you see THIS guy. Ah, Bulk. Good to see you again! > >Bulk (shouting): YAR! > >Iron-Stevie: Yar? > >Bulk: Me watch Simpsons with Sea Captain. Me think "Yar" good yell for me. > >Iron-Stevie: Okay, then. This guy's still not talking. Juvi, good luck not getting killed. > >*Iron-Stevie nods his head to The Bulk and leaves.* > >Juvi: Wha-wha-what do you want? > >Bulk: ME WANT ANSWER!!! WHO HIRE YOU?!! > >Juvi: "Me" really want to tell, but "me" can't. > >Bulk: YARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! > >*The Bulk picks up the desk and heaves it just above Juvi's head. Juvi is scared shitless.* > >Juvi: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Settle down, big guy. > >Bulk: SETTLE DOWN?!! SETTLE DOWN?!! ME WANT ANSWER, THEN MAYBE SETTLE DOWN!!! WHO PAY YOU?!! > >Juvi: I TOLD you, I cannot say! Please, don't kill me! PLEASE!!!!!! > >Bulk: YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > >*The Bulk picks the desk back up and has it above his head with a murderous look on his face. He's about to slam it on Juvi's head when...* > >"BULK! STOP!!!" > >*The Bulk turns to the door to see his new companion and manager, The Yeast!* > >Yeast: Bulk! Put desk down! Cook--YEAST--just talk to Chavoman. Chavoman think he come to interrogate. He say it obvious that violence not helping get answer from Juvi. He say just keep Juvi alive long enough for Chavoman to get answer from him. > >*The Bulk puts the desk down, but still holds the murderous facial expression and looms over Juvi Guerrera. We await the arrival of Chavoman in Part III of The Interrogation of Juvi!* > > > > > > >--- The JLAP on 05/01/2003 at 22:26 said --- >>(The camera comes on and shows Juventud Guerrera sitting at a table in a room that looks very much like an interrogation room at a local police precinct. The door opens, and in walks Iron-Stevie.) >> >>Juvi: I'm not saying anything without my lawyer! >> >>Iron-Stevie: Ha-ha-ha. Good one Citizen Guerrera, however, we are not the police, and you have no miranda rights here. We are The Just-Us League of Avenging People, and we want to know why you decided to dress up and defile the image of one of our own. >> >>Juvi: D'uh! I did it for the money! >> >>Iron-Stevie: You could have stolen the money from that bank dressed up as anyone... >> >>Juvi: Man, you're dense...not the money I "allegedly" stole from the bank, the money I got paid to dress up as Chavoman! >> >>Iron-Stevie: So you were paid to do it? >> >>Juvi: Yup. >> >>Iron-Stevie: By who? >> >>Juvi: You ever see that movie with Brittany Murphy and Michael Douglas, where she plays that loco bambino? >> >>Iron-Stevie: "Don't Say A Word"? >> >>Juvi: Yeah. >> >>Iron-Stevie: What's that got to do with anything? >> >>Juvi: Ask me again about the money. >> >>Iron-Stevie: Who paid you to dress up as Chavoman?!? >> >>Juvi (in a sing song voice): Iiiiii'lll neeeeeeveeeeeeeeer teeeeeeee-eeeeeeellll! >> >>(Iron-Stevie gets up and throws his chair across the room in a fit of rage.) >> >>Iron-Stevie: You will tell me who paid you! >> >>Juvi: Uh-uh. >> >>Iron-Stevie: Yuh-huh! >> >>Juvi: Uh-uh! >> >>Iron-Stevie: YUH-HUH! >> >>Juvi: UH-UH! >> >>Iron-Stevie: YUH-HUH!!!! >> >>Juvi: UH-UH! UH-UH! UH-UH! UH-UH! >> >>Iron-Stevie: YUH-HUH! YUH-HUH! YUH-HUH! YUH-HUH! >> >>Juvi: Nope! >> >>Iron-Stevie: Why not? >> >>Juvi: Because I'm not scared of you. There's nothing you can do to make me tell. >> >>Iron-Stevie: Hmmmm.... >> >>(Iron-Stevie paces back and forth in the room stroking his chin.) >> >>Iron-Stevie: So, you're not afraid of me? >> >>Juvi: Nope. >> >>Iron-Stevie: So what you're saying is that there's nothing I can do to make you tell me who paid you to dress up as Chavoman? >> >>Juvi: Not a thing. >> >>Iron-Stevie: Well then, I guess I'm done here. Are you hungry Citizen Juvi? >> >>Juvi: A little... >> >>Iron-Stevie: Here, have a cookie. >> >>(Iron-Stevie tosses Juvi a cookie.) >> >>Juvi: Hey, thanks man. You got any joos? Cookies go great with the joos. >> >>Iron-Stevie: Nope sorry, I don't have any juice. Here's a glass of water though. Maybe my partner, who will be in shortly to ask you a few more questions, will have some juice. He says juice goes well with cookies too. Personally, I prefer milk, but he is the more experienced member of the JLAP when it comes to Cookies...have fun. >> >>(Iron-Stevie gets up and leaves, as Juvi happily chews on his cookie. Juvi reaches for the glass, when suddenly he hears a loud thump. Then another. And another. Juvi looks at the glass and sees the water having a ripple effect.) >> >>Juvi: Uh oh... >> >>(Fade to black.)
