HEEEERE'S RODDY!!!!!
Posted by: Hot Rod on 05/02/2003 at 20:37
"Hey, Undertaker - guess what?"
*The camera fades up on Roddy Piper sitting on a folding chair in a dark room. The only light is from a single lamp above Piper which gives a spotlight around the chair.*
"I'M NOT DEAD!!! I told you...the only way this thing between us would end would be with my death. AND I'M STILL KICKING AND SCREAMING!!! I'm not through with you at all, so while I'm still around, you better be watching your back, old pal. You may think you're done with me, but I'm not falling into a grave like Old Yeller. You beat me at Rampage. You hurt me pretty bad. HOO-FRIGGIN-RAY!!! I'm still here and still as crazy as always.
You see, Undertaker, that's how we're different. Your mindgames are all a facade. You play a character who's a demonic badass. I, on the other hand, AM a badass - and I think the fact that I took one of your most devastating moves and am coming back for more proves it!
It looks like we have something in common, though, 'Taker: We're both pretty darn good at making enemies. You've got me, Kidman, and Jarrett all over your ass. And me, well, you're definately a thorn in my side, and I'm sure Sabu and Bill Alfonso don't care for me, but now it appears that GeniusIQ's a little miffed at me.
Hey, "Genius" - your little Executive VP got what was coming to him. If he would've used some common sense and business ethics when creating his broadcasts, he could have avoided his fate. But, you're going to punish me, is that it? You're gonna pit me against arguably the most physically dominating wresltler in this company with the Iron Man Championship on the line as punishment?
Why does no one understand?
Wrestling is my life! I enjoy climbing in that ring. No match you could ever dream of would be punishment for me - no matter how physically damaging you think it is. As you can see right now...I'M ONE RESILIENT SON OF A BITCH!
Steiner, I've got no beef with you. I think you're a magnificent athlete - you have had a stellar career and you sure as hell earned that title. But don't think for a minute that you're gonna cakewalk through your match with me! Don't let IQ fill you with so much hype that you forget who I am. You underestimate me and it'll cost you that gold, buddy.
So since I have so much on my plate right now, let me boil it down to small words so everyone out there can understand me:
*Piper stands and walks out of the camera's view. All that is left is the chair in the spotlight. However, since Piper has gotten out of the chair, we now see the writing and the picture that has been airbrused onto the back and seat of the chair. On the back are the words "The Piper's Comin'". On the seat is the picture of Roddy Piper playing the bagpipes while dancing on two graves...
...one headstone reads "Taker", the other reads "Steiner".*
