Remembering the Cookie
Posted by: Big Show on 05/01/2003 at 14:55
*We're back to Sesame Street, with your host, The Big Show!!! Big Show steps out of the CookieHouse with his head down and is holding something behind his back.*
Big Show (in a quiet, almost mumbled voice): Hello, kids. Today, we have a special tribute to Cookie Monster, who is still in the hospital. Apparently, he is brain-dead. I asked around the FTR for comments about Cookie, and, well, here they are.
*We cut to a video clip, first with the Big Show himself, with a caption at the bottom that says "Big Show".*
"He was a great guy...puppet...well, he was great. He showed me the best times of my life."
*Clips are shown of Cookie Monster, including the kareoke bar with Cookie singing "I did it all for the Cookie," scenes at the grocery store, and multiple scenes of the classic Cookie Eating Contests between Big Show and Cookie Monster.*
"I just know he's gonna pull through (sniff)."
*Next, a really big guy with a bad mullet wig is shown, with the caption "Eddie Guerrero."*
"Yeah, Cookie was great. Oh yeah, ESSE. Man, what a guy, man. He will be missed, esse."
*The next figure is a white guy with a bad dreadlocks wig.*
"Yeah. Dawg. I remember the Cookie. I digged him. Sucka."
*We're back to the show, and Big Show has tears in his eyes.*
Big Show: "That was beautiful, man. I really want to thank everyone who stopped by to pay their respects to Cookie Monster and gave a few words."
*Knock Knock.*
Big Show: What? Who is that? It's the mailman! What do you have for us today?!!
Mailman: A huge crate.
Big Show: A huge crate?!! I'll take it!
*Big Show signs for it, and the mailman leaves.*
Big Show: Well, here we go, kids. Let's see what it could be...
*Big Show takes a crowbar and opens the crate, and something jumps out quickly. IT'S COOKIE MONSTER! Wait, he has a cape, a Robin-like bandana, and a vest that has a peace sign on the front.*
Big Show: COOKIE!!!
Cookie: CORRECTION, Citizen Show! I am THE YEAST!
Big Show: The Yeast? OHHHH, like-
Yeast: Like what?
Big Show: Nothing. What's with the peace sign? You a superhero hippie or something?
Yeast: NO! It "Y" with cicle around it! Anyway, Citizen Big Show! Come join JLAP, and together, we rid the world of all evil!
Big Show: Who sent you? Chavoman? Iron-Stevie?
Yeast: Ummmmmmmm, NO! The Yeast, uh, came here on own. Now that your evil friend is gone for while, The Yeast could be replacement!
Big Show: Don't piss me off, Yeast. No one can replace Cookie Monster. I don't WANT a replacement. But, I'll tell you what I'll do: I have a friend who needs a manager to help calm him down a little. AND, he wants to get rid of all evil too. So, why don't you go away and save the world, huh?
Yeast: You dissappoint me, Citizen Show, but I depart!
*The Yeast reaches for the YeastBelt and pulls out a cookie with a string attached to it. After taking a bite out of it, he hurls the cookie, hears it cling, and starts to pull himself along the rope and exits.*
Big Show: Ooooooookay, then. Well, that's all the time we have today. Until next time, I'm Big Show. Have a nice day!
*Big Show chuckles to himself, presumably about The Yeast, and goes home. The credits appear, along with the tune to "C is for Cookie." Camera fades to black.*
