WHY, Destructive Lightning, WHY?!!
Posted by: Destructive Lightning on 04/28/2003 at 22:05
*Michael Cole and two of the newest members of the Fatal Army, Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Nathan Jones, are backstage at a house show conducting an interview.*
Cole: I'm here with Destructive Lightning, two of the newest members of the Fatal Army and the ones responsible for the burning of the Cookie Monster, who is reportedly in very critical condition. Now, guys, why the hell would you join the Fatal Army?
Jones: Cole, why do you think? Because we LIKE the Undertaker? No. We don't LIKE ANYBODY. We're not here to make friends, not to get chummy with people. We're here to make money. When Undertaker called us and made us a HUGE offer, we couldn't refuse.
Cole: And what exactly was that offer?
Rey: It basically says that we only do jobs for members of the Fatal Army. No one outside of the Fatal Army can hire us. While this severely limits the number of sources of income, with the amount of money The Undertaker's paying us, we don't have to worry about other people.
Cole: So, one of the jobs include what is AT LEAST attempted MURDER of the Cookie Monster?
Jones: The way we see it, the most we would get is destruction of property, because the Cookie Monster is not a human, not even an animal. He's a friggin puppet. So, the job fit right in with what we like to do: destroy shit.
Cole: So, why would The Undertaker want YOU guys? I mean, what are his objectives in recruiting you guys?
Rey: Well, obviously, it makes the Fatal Army stronger. He eventually wants us to go for the Tag Team Championship, but he also realizes that we have yet to have an actual tag team match. Right now, though, I think the real reason he recruited us is for protection.
Cole: Protection from what?
*Nathan Jones grabs Cole by his shirt and picks him up close to his face.*
Jones: US.
*With that, Jones set Cole to his feet, gives him a little shove backwards, and leaves. Rey gives Cole a little stare, then leaves as well. Cole has a frightened look on his face, and we cut back to FTR Duds, The Big Show vs. Vader.
