The swing of things...
Posted by: Team Extreme on 04/20/2003 at 23:57
Regular FTR programming is interrupted for a live scheduled interview.
Mean Gene: “Mean Gene Okerland here backstage at FTR Monday Night Wars in scenic Battle Creek, Michigan. Tonight we have a special treat, I’ve managed to secure an interview with the hometown hero….that’s right, tonight we are going to have a special chat with none other than Rob Van Dam!”
The camera’s view shows Mean Gene Okerland sitting in a director’s chair across from Rob Van Dam. Behind the two a big screen monitor is showing different career highlights, of which there are many.
Mean Gene: “RVD, thank you for taking this time out to talk to me. I know you are busy preparing for Rampage.”
Rob Van Dam: “Hey, no problem. I mean, when you are Rob Van Dam you have to be flexible. Ya know, everyone wants to talk to you, be around you and hey, if I weren’t me I would want to be around me.”
Mean Gene: “Of course. Well, RVD, I wanted to congratulate you and your partner, Sabu on an incredible upset of the Dudley Boys at day one of Genesis.”
Rob Van Dam: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lets back up a couple of steps there. The win at Genesis was not an upset or a fluke or anything else you wanna call it. I beat the Dudley Boys single-handedly and it isn’t the first time I’ve done that. Hell, I even carried the entire Dudley Clan, Sabu and Fonzie on my back when we were the Fatal Four.”
Mean Gene: “Well, with that said, I have to say it is great to have you back to your old self. I have to admit that I, along with many others, was concerned about your winless streak.”
Rob Van Dam: “I’ve got to admit, you are starting to piss me off. I’m not here to talk about the past, I’m here to talk about the future. Mainly the kicking of every ass in the FTR. It started with the Dudleys at Genesis and it will eventually end with the Dudleys but for now someone else wants to step up and get some.”
Mean Gene: “You are referring to the Ruffians, Buff Bagwell and Tazz?”
Rob Van Dam: “Who?”
Mean Gene: “Buff Bagwell. Tazz. The Ruffians. They’ve challenged Team Extreme to Hardcore Rules match at this week’s Rampage.”
Rob Van Dam: “In the FTR?”
Mean Gene looks a bit confused and looks off camera to the production manager who can only shrug back.
Mean Gene: “Yes, in the FTR. They are currently employed by the FTR, Tazz formerly employed at ECW was an opponent of yours several times, a former partner of your current partner under the direction of your current manger Bill Alfonso.”
Rob Van Dam: “Short guy? Built like an orange bowling ball?”
Mean Gene: “Sorta. And Bagwell was formerly employed by WCW and shortly with WWE. He….um….. well, his claim to fame is….. um…. he was in the nWo!”
Rob Van Dam: “Bugg Bagwell? Isn’t that the name of that cartoon rabbit?”
Mean Gene lets out a sigh, shakes his head and clears his throat.
Mean Gene: “Yes, RVD. Do you accept the challenge?”
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Sabu comes storming onto the set with Bill Alfonso clinging to one of his arms and blowing his whistle frantically for Sabu to stop. Sabu goes for Gene’s throat but Van Dam helps Fonzie in stopping him just in time.
Rob Van Dam: “What my baggage handler is saying is that we accept.”
Fonzie spits out his whistle: “AND TELL PIPER TO FUCK OFF!”
