*We're live at a house show in the great city of Philadelphia!*
JR: Welcome back folks. Tonight we have our main event, a classic rematch between Albert and Giant Gonzalez! It ought to be a slobberknocker! But first, Michael Cole conducted an interview with Rey Mysterio and Nathan Jones, the members of Destructive Lightning.
*Camera switches to a room backstage, where Michael Cole is standing with Mysterio and Jones with a microphone.*
Cole: First off, I just want to say thank-
Jones: Yeah yeah yeah. Get on with it.
Cole: All right, then. What made you guys come the FTR?
Jones: Well, when I was in jail, I was thinking to myself, "I really love destroying shit. When I get out, how can I destroy shit without coming back here?" So I got out, sat down and watched the telly when I switch the channel and find this FTR. I think it was the first Albert/Giant Gonzalez match. It was terrible, but as I was watching it, I started thinking, "Hey! If I join this FTR, I can destroy shit and get PAID for it!
Cole: So how does Rey fit in?
Rey: I was just doing some wrestling in Mexico when I realized that I was going nowhere. So I scheduled a meeting with IQ about an opportunity to join it again. So I was sat down in the waiting room and guess who was waiting next to me? Nathan. I didn't recognize him, so I asked him about his wrestling experience. He said he had none. He just wanted to "destroy shit". He seemed like a good guy, so I offered to help. If you want to be fully effective, you need an all-around game. Sure he had power, but he doesn't have any experience or speed. I have both. So I figured we could be a team and just destroy shit.
Cole: So why do the contracts like hitmen?
Jones: I got the idea right after I got out of jail. My friend back in jail was in for murdering a guy who was picking on his gay cousin, Mervin. So I offered to help for a price. I then found out that there was a whole gang, and didn't take the job. When I met Rey, and thought of the carnage we could do, we took the job. So, if we do this in the FTR, not only will we get paid by IQ, but also by our clients.
Cole: What do you have against Big Show, who you took out THREE times since you joined the FTR?
Jones: Uh, Cole, I only remember TWO jobs against Big Show. We took him out on the set of Sesame Street and at the Extreme Title match. We've really only had two other jobs since we joined: one against Team Techno, courtesy of JLAP, and the other against the three members of JLAP, courtesy of Team Techno. Boy, that was fun. Two birds with one stone. Anyway, we have NOTHING against Big Show. It's just that I guess no one likes him.
Cole: What is your relationship with The Undertaker and the Fatal Army?
Jones: Strictly business. Didn't you see the signature notes we put on the Big Show and the Incredible Bulk? Yes, we did jobs for him, and we may do jobs for him in the future. All he has to do is ask and pay. That goes for everyone in the FTR. The Undertaker is no more important to us than the rest of them, unless of course he pays us more.
Cole: Thanks guys, but our main event is coming up soon.
*We then witness the least technical match ever shown, and a riot breaks out. The camera is snatched, and a guy in an Eagles jersey shouts "We're doing you a favor!" and slams it to the floor. The camera breaks and shuts off.*
