The Unstoppable Monster
Posted by: Big Show on 11/20/2002 at 20:15
*Camera shows a close up on the Extreme Title. Camera Zooms out to show Cookie Monster holding the belt and the new Extreme Champion, Big Show*
Cookie Monster: "Here, Show, put on belt."
*Big Show tries to put the belt around his waist.*
Big Show: "It doesn't fit! Oh well, cookies are more important than waist size anyway."
Cookie Monster: "COOKIE!"
Big Show: "You know what, Cookie? I don't think this title is going anywhere. No one has been able to stop me! I've never been pinned since I came to FTR. Last night at Rampage, I beat 'Iron' Stevie Richards so bad I don't even know if he'll walk again. Speaking of Stevie, how hot is his valet, Lita?"
Cookie Monster: "She pretty, but she no COOKIE! COOKIE! COOKIE! COOKIE!"
Big Show: "Anyway, after Stevie's demise, I pinned Booker T AND Brock Lesnar in a Triple Threat Match to win the title. I am so dominant it's not even funny. Sure, I've lost two matches, but they don't really count. In the battle royal, it took not one, but two men to defeat me, and that was only to throw me over a rope. In a real match, I could beat the crap out of them easily. And, last night, I only lost to that chump Shane Douglas because I got disqualified. Oh, by the way, Cookie, thanks a lot for DQing me last night. I didn't want to waste my time with that chump. So, because the match was so short, that gave me time for more cookies!"
Cookie Monster: "COOKIE! COOKIE! COOKIE!"
Big Show: "Anyway, like I said, I don't see anyone out there who could take the title, or worthy of just facing me. So, I don't think I'll waste my time defending my title this week at Rampage. That'll give me more time to eat more cookies!"
*Big Show grabs a pack of cookies and eats the whole thing at twice the rate as humanly possible.*
Cookie Monster: "You show off for fans, huh?"
*Cookie Monster grabs 2 packs of cookies and eats them in the same time it took Big Show to eat one pack.*
Big Show: "Oh yeah?"
*Big Show grabs 5 packs of cookies. Cookie Monster does the same. The camera fades as the two have their hourly cookie eating contest."
