Hardcore Training
Posted by: The Ruffians on 03/23/2003 at 14:03
"This is the chance of a lifetime, and I'm gonna make sure you don't screw it up."
*The scene fades up on Buff Bagwell and Tazz inside a gym. Bagwell is drenched in sweat but Tazz still looks snazzy in his pinstripe suit.*
Buff: Alright, what do you want me to do now?
Tazz: Well, we've done cardio for about four hours. You've lifted weights for the past two hours...I think you should run some more.
Buff:*panting* I ca...I can't run anymore. Do you want me to fall apart before the match tomorrow? If I can't move my legs it's gonna be pretty hard to, you know, fight.
Tazz: True. I guess we can work on other things right now. *thinks* Okay, I got it. Stand right there.
Buff: Where are you going? What are you...?
Tazz: *entering with a Kendo stick in hand* Alright. It is time for you to train in the ways of extreme wrestling.
*THWACK!!! Tazz hits Buff in the back with the Kendo stick.*
Buff: OOOOWWWWW!!! What did you do that for?
Tazz: You need to toughen up, buddy. You're too soft.
*THWACK!!! Another hit in the back.*
Buff: OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! Stop that!!!
Tazz: What are you going to do about it? You gonna stop me?
*THWACK!!! Tazz hits Buff again. This time, after getting hit, Buff kicks Tazz in the gut, takes the Kendo stick, and wallops Tazz over the head with it. Tazz is unfazed.*
Tazz: Good, good. Your mean streak's coming out. Thank God. Now, attitude. Look into the camera and tell Chavoman and Piper why you're gonna kick their asses tomorrow.
Buff: *stares into the camera* Becuase I'm Buff and I'm...
Tazz: STOP THAT!! That has to be the dumbest threat in the history of wrestling. What do they care if you're "the stuff"? What the hell is "the stuff"?
Buff: Look at me! *poses for the camera* I look better than anybody here. I've got beauty and charisma. THAT's what the stuff is.
Tazz: *blank stare* So, you think it's more important to look good than to be a rough bastard and win matches?
Buff: *sheepishly* Yes?
Tazz: Start running.
*Buff sighs in defeat and runs off camera. Tazz looks into the camera.*