Pimp 101: The Code of the Pimp
Posted by: Goldust and Godfather on 11/26/2002 at 16:45
*A very tired Godfather continues to teach Pimp 101.*
Godfather: "Hey, class. We ended yesterday's disaterous class discussing the pickup line. Today, I would like to talk to you about the most important aspect of the art of the pimp: The Code of the Pimp."
David Spade: "Um, sir? After hearing what Juicy had to say just a few minutes ago, why should I believe a word you say?"
Godfather: "This coming from the guy who thought the best way to pick up a woman is to make smart-ass comments about her ass. Let me tell you guys one thing about Juicy: Juicy talks a lot of smack, but he doesn't have the balls to wrestle and hides behind his two butt buddies, Jamal and Rosie. I won't even get started about their names. Actually, I will. "Rosie?" No wonder you guys go by "Three Minute Warning." "Three Minute Warning?" Three minutes until what? A warning for you to change the channel because two big fat elephants in ghetto clothes are about to stick various objects up their asses in three minutes? Juicy thinks he's a 'Gentlemen of Leisure?' Look at the women he attracts. Look at the women that can take out Jamal and Rosie. The women I pimp are hot, and the reason why they change every day is because I travel. I have women all over the world working happily for me. Goldie, want to beat the crap out of these chumps?"
Goldust: "Let's get it on."
Godfather: "Now, I have brought a special guest today. He is a true pimp. He is the one who taught me when I was a student like you. Please welcome...SHAFT!"
*Shaft walks in the door to a standing ovation. He shakes Godfather's hand.*
Shaft: "Thank you, thank you. I heard what Juicy had to say, I must say that he doesn't know the first thing about pimping. He doesn't even know the motto. The motto of the true pimp (write this down, Spade) is: 'It's your duty to pleasure that booty.' Now, I understand today's lesson is on The Code. Well, first, make them feel that they are better than they actually are. Second, make them feel attached to you, but don't EVER get attached to any one ho. There are too many hoes to pimp for you to stick with one..."
*The camera fades as Shaft and Godfather continue today's lesson in Pimp 101.*
