Family Meeting (Tag Tournament Addressed, Iron Man Title Contenders Announced, and MORE! EVERYONE READ!)
Posted by: The Family on 02/25/2003 at 19:15
(The camera comes on and shows the Executive Board Room of GeniusIQ Industries. Seated at the table are all the members of The Family, The Dudley Boyz, Sign Guy Dudley, Joel Gertner, Booker T, Three Minute Warning, Juicy, Steiner, Midajah, Candido, and sitting off to the side, Bill Ding and Luxurious Lynne. The only people missing are IQ, Jenna, Bloodsport and Stephanie. Next to the door is a table with an object on it covered by a cloth.)
Steiner: Hey Buh Buh, D-Von, listen, me and Candido aren’t really interested in the tag titles, and this tournament is basically for you guys, so we’re gonna go out there, and Chris is just gonna lay down and let you pin him.
Candido: WAIT! What do you mean I am gonna lay down for them? Why don’t you lay down for them?
(Steiner picks up his lead pipe, and turns to Candido.)
Steiner: Because if you don’t, I’m changing your name to Todd.
(Candido gulps and shys away from the table.)
Buh Buh: NOBODY is laying down. If you two blonde bitches can beat us, then beat us. If we aren’t good enough to carry on the memory of Big Dick Dudley, then we don’t deserve to. Just know this, we are coming with everything we know how to do…
D-Von_ …meaning, by the end of the night, yall gonna be TESTIFYING!
(The door to the board room opens, and Bloodsport, Steph, Jenna and IQ enter the room. Miss Goldendollar soon follows with her notepad and pen to take notes.)
IQ: Glad to see we’re all getting along.
Candido: Yeah, right.
IQ: Stuff it Chris, when you get back to winning matches like everyone else here is, then I’ll listen to your whining. Don’t make me have The Dudleyz repeat their last performance on you at Genesis. I’d really hate to undo all those months and months of rehabilitation.
(Candido once again gulps and shys away from the table.)
IQ: Now, I understand that you’ve already addressed the Tag Team Tournament, so let’s look at the rest of the gold, Booker, have you decided what you are going to do for your Intercontinental Title defense at Genesis yet?
Booker: : I’ve been thinking that I’d just walk down to the ring and break Rhino’s short ass arms off and beat him over the head with them.
IQ: Good, good. Now, we’ve got two other things to handle. First off, we are going to have a new Iron Man Champion crowned at the Pay Per View, but right now, I don’t see any of you fitting into that elimination match. As a matter of fact it’s going to be Horace Hogan, Chris Jericho, Lance Storm and Kurt Angle in that match. I have yet to decide what the gimmick will be besides the elimination rules, but I have time for that, we’ll see what suggestions those four can make. Oh, and of course if any of them decide not to respond and make a suggestion, I have a few other people who I can think of to put in the match instead.
Steiner: It won’t matter much, as soon as I’m done with this Tag Tournament and teaming with this whiny bitch, I’m taking that Iron Man title shot you owe me and getting myself back into that World Title picture.
IQ: Good, glad to hear you haven’t taken your eyes off the prize yet. Now, the next thing we have to deal with is the dishing out of the reward for the Wrestler of the Week Award. Now, it was awarded to The Family as a whole, but the reward can only be used for one title shot, so who gets it?
(At this point, IQ removes the cloth from the object and reveals the Wrestler of the Week trophy. Immediately, arguments break out over who deserves it.)
Steiner: You see, IQ, there is only one man here who truly deserves this…
Candido: Yeah, me. I’ve been through hell…
D-Von: …and half of that hell was put on you by us. If anyone deserves that it is the Dudley Boyz.
Luxurious Lynne: Oh, I have shoes and a purse that would match that trophy perfectly. Go get it for me Bill.
Bill Ding: NO! We aren’t ready yet.
IQ: Can we PLEASE come to a civil agreement here?
Booker T: Not as long as them fools are fighting over my trophy, man.
Jamal: Your trophy?
Lynne: C’mon Bill! I would look so cute at ringside with that trophy in my hand, with my matching shoes and purse. I could even buy those earrings I wanted. You have to get that for me!
Bill Ding: NO LYNNE!
Lynne: (making a pouty face) But I want it…
D-Von: You punk ass Dudley Boyz wanna be mother fuc…
Rosie: Who you think you are, we been here busting our asses all this time and you two inbred f***s want to waltz in here and want our trophy?
Buh Buh Ray: Don’t start anything you two minute men can’t finish. My brother and me did the tag team thing first.
Rosie: Yeah, but me and Jamal do it better!
Steiner: It’s my damn trophy!
Booker T: The hell it is!
IQ: Oh boy…
Lynne: Fine, you big baby. If you wont take it, I will.
(Luxurious Lynne walks up to the table and snatches the trophy. Nobody even notices as the arguing has escalated.)
Ding: LYNNE! Lynne, get back here…put that back!
(Bill Ding tries to chase her out of the office, but a loud crashing, like glass shatering is heard. When we turn around, we see that IQ has smashed the glass of one of the many expensive paintings on the wall.)
IQ: SHUT THE FUCK UP! You over paid brats want to bitch and complain and fight? You can’t agree? FINE! I’ll decide who gets it. While all of you loud mouths were bitching about who deserves it more, only one person in here had the smarts to shut up and listen. BILL DING, the award goes to you. He…here…huh?
(IQ searches his desk but notices the trophy is gone.)
