Kidnapping of Big Show
Posted by: FTR Kidz Newz on 02/23/2003 at 14:44
*It's time for FTR Kidz Newz! Camera turns on to show two seven year old kids, a boy and a girl, dressed in business attire, and sitting at the news desk.*
Boy: Hello, everybody, and welcome to FTR Kidz Newz, where we have plenty of news to talk about.
Girl: Yeah, including the recent events on Big Show and Sesame Street. A few days ago, on another awesome Sesame Street show, the last thing that happened was a camera being thrown at Big Show's head. We're on the line with Cookie Monster as he comments on what happened and what's going on right now.
*A click is heard, and Cookie Monster's voice is heard audibly.*
Cookie: Hello?
Boy: Cookie! How's it going?
Cookie: Bad.
Girl: That's stinkie. What happened on that Sesame Street episode?
Cookie: Well, after the camera was thrown at Show's head, Cookie see two men in ski masks. Show knocked out, and Cookie freeze. Cookie scared, especially about big guy. Cookie try to run, but small guy catch up. Small guy tackled Cookie, then put Cookie in chokehold. Last thing Cookie see before Cookie pass out is big guy drag Show out door.
*The boy has discovered that his chair spins around, for he has been spinning around for the entire interview.*
Girl (to boy): What are you doing? This is a TV show!
Boy: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Girl: (rolls her eyes) So, Cookie, where is Big Show right now?
Cookie: Cookie don't know. Cookie hope Show back for Genesis.
Girl: Speaking of Genesis, did you hear what The Undertaker had to say?
Cookie: Yes. Undertaker think he great. Undertaker think he too good for Extreme Title. Well, Taker, Extreme Title important. Extreme Title show you tougher than anyone else under extreme circumstances, whether it's a table match or a buried alive match. Undertaker think Big Show play childish games week after week. Well, he kinda has to for Sesame Street to be enjoyable to kids. What, do Undertaker think Big Show should wear all black, talk about death all the time on a kids show?
Girl: True, but violence is okay on the show?
Cookie: Well, yeah. If people deserve to get beaten, like the whores that came on our show, then yeah, violence is okay. Don't start questioning Show and Cookie, or you get something you don't want.
*Girl opens her eyes really wide, then starts to cry.*
Cookie: That's right, cry, you little bitch. Cookie don't have to be nice outside of Sesame Street. You know what, woman? You can go to hell with your-
*A loud CRACK is heard from Cookie Monster's side, and then a click that cuts the line. The girl stops crying and looks confused. She continues while the boy is STILL spinning around in that chair.*
Girl: Well, then. Big Show's absence has created a huge drop in the ratings on Sesame Street, from a 16 to a 2. Obviously, if Big Show never comes back, Sesame Street is in big trouble. Well, that's all the time we have today. Good night everybody.
