Arriving at the scene
Posted by: ??? on 02/08/2003 at 21:33
*We're in the First Union Center, where FTR is hosting yet another house show.*
JR: Well, folks, next is our main event: a HUGE match between Albert and Giant Gonzalez! But first, earlier today, police arrived to a scene that apparently involves someone coming soon to FTR! Here's a clip.
*Camera shows 20 police cars outside an old warehouse. Kevin Kelley stands outside.*
Kevin: Well, here we are outside an old warehouse, the rumored meeting place of an anti-gay gang. Police just arrived here and are investigating a BIZARRE scene! Apparently, the gang was having a meeting when the lights went out. When no one came back home, some of the member's wives called the police to look for them. When they came, they found all of them hanging upside down, stripped, and with pool sticks shoved up their asses. They all had many bruises all over their bodies, probably from the same pool sticks that were stuck up their asses.
*Officer walks by.*
Kevin: 'Scuse me! 'Scuse me! Officer, are there any clues to who these guys were?
Officer: They say the caught glimpses of a really big guy, but they say that there were two of them. The culprits did leave a note.
*Officer hands Kevin the note. Kevin reads the note.*
Kevin: Dear homophobic bastards, Leave Mervin alone. Signed, Destructive Lightning. Thank you, Officer. Well, looks like these guys might be some kind of protectors of the weak. Like superheroes! Back to you, JR!
*Camera cuts back to the First Union Center, where Giant Gonzalez comes out to begin his comeback match. Once Albert comes out, the fans immediately boo and leave the arena, probably predicting a terrible match. FTR Television realizes that everyone is switching channels, and cuts directly to their next show: Conan the Librarian.*
