Alas...we meet again...
Posted by: Techno Team 2oo3 on 02/06/2003 at 16:29
*The scene opens at an interview location with Josh Matthews*
Josh: “Ladies and Gentlemen, we’re suppose to have an exclusive interview with the former tag team champions, Edge and Christian…Techno Team 2oo3!”
Lordy, I have loved some ladies and I have loved Jim Beam and they both tried to kill me in 1973 when that doctor asked me Son how did you get in this condition I said hey sawbones I'm just carryin’ on an old family tradition
So don't ask me Hank Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke? Why must you live out the songs you wrote? Stop and think it over Try and put yourself in my unique position If I get stoned and sing all night long It's a family tradition!
Josh: “First off gentlemen…”
Edge: “First of all Junior, how about we play a game. It’s really easy, it only has two rules. First…don’t say anything. Second…don’t do anything.”
Josh: “But…”
Christian: “Way to go chumpstain, you already lost. Just hold the book and we’ll make you look good.”
Edge: “Now on to the task at hand. Just like we told the world we would, we have advanced in the Big *BEEP* Dudley Tag Team Tournament. And those Just-Us Jobbers proved to not even put up a challenge. And now we can look forward to our next opponents…”
Christian: “That’s right, and how many times have we faced and beaten them in the past?”
Josh: “But you’ve never faced…”
Edge: “Hold that book up a little higher.”
*Josh holds the book up in front of his face as Edge hits it causing it to hit Josh in the nose.*
Edge: “Please continue Christian.”
Christian: “As I was saying, we have wrestled you two a hundred times and beaten you within an inch of your lives every single time. And just because you got new jerseys doesn’t mean your luck will change Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge!”
Josh: “What? You guys are facing Rosie and Jamal, Three Minute Warning! Not Public Enemy!”
Edge: “Would you please just read the book and shut up reekizoid?!?”
Christian: “Now as we were saying, just because you guys finally got enough money to get new jerseys doesn’t mean we won’t beat you pieces of trailer trash within an inch of your lives!”
Edge: “You think getting new jerseys and changing your names is gonna change the fact that you suck!?! Well here’s a clue Jamal Grunge and Rosey Rock, nothing can help you guys not suck. You are right about something though…you’ll always be the Big-Mac Daddies of Sucktitude!”
Christian: “Go get all the backup you can find because you saw what we did to the JLAP. Bring IQ, hell, you can bring all 429 members of The Family because we’ll have the E-C-Dubs, the Jericholics, and most abundantly The Hulkimaniacs!!!”
Josh: “But you’re not facing Public Enemy, you’re facing…”
*Before Josh can finish, the studios door flies open. A shadowy figure emerges from the door. Using one hand to talk on his cell phone, and the other to carry his Pulitzer, in walks Hulk Hogan. He is followed by Chris Jericho who, instead of watching where he is going is reading Hulk Hogans book.*
Hogan: “Yeah, let me call you back brother. Bye.”
*Hulk, followed by Jericho approach Edge & Christian.*
Hogan: “Hey brothers, I just got off the phone with the FTR Main Offices and they’re a little upset with the promo you’re in the middle of. They want you guys to know you’re facing Three Minute Warning, not Public Enemy. They haven’t been seen in a while…anyway it’s not Public Enemy dressed up, or changing their names, or anything like that. The guys you’re facing are two big Samoans.”
Edge: “How the heck did they get this far?”
Hogan: “They beat The Outlaws in the first round, then Team Extreme in the second round.”
Christian: “So we’re suppose to be worried about a team that sat on a couple of jobbers, then beat schlong and a bong?”
Hogan: “Just continue to say your prayers, take your vitamins, and train. Remember, they weigh three times more than you.”
*Edge and Christian look at each other and laugh until they realize Hogan is serious.*
Edge: “You got it Hulk. You ready to hit the gym Christian?”
Christian: “Totally. It’s bulktitude time!”
Edge: “Chris, you going with us?”
Jericho: “……”
Hulk: “We’ll meet you there later.”
*Edge and Christian leave as Hogan and Jericho leave in the other direction. The camera zooms in on the back of Jericho’s shirt which reads: I BOUGHT THE BOOK!*
