Interview Backstage (Fatal Army)
Posted by: Big Show on 01/31/2003 at 14:40
*Another episode of Sesame Street has just ended, and all the cast are celebrating backstage over another terrific performance.*
Elmo: Wow, Cookie and Show, you guys were GREAT! I loved your lesson on-
Cookie Monster: What did Cookie say about your hole, Elmo?
Elmo: To shut it.
Cookie: That right.
*Snuffalufagus comes up to the group with a videotape.*
Snuff: Here tape for you!
Big Show: Well, then give it to us, numbnuts!
*Big Show snatches the tape from Snuff and puts it in the VCR. It shows the Sinister Minister talking smack about Big Show. The whole tape plays, there is silence.*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Cookie: That hilarious, Show!
Elmo: Elmo don't think that funny. Elmo scared! Sinister Minister evil!
Big Show: If you open your hole one more time, Elmo, I'm gonna shut it for you!
Big Show: Let's make a tape of our own, Cookie.
*Cookie Monster and Big Show go back on stage and do a special interview!
Cookie Monster: Show, what Show think of Sinister Minister?
Big Show: He's a piece of crap.
Cookie: Good enough. What Show make of Undertaker?
Big Show: He's a piece of crap.
Cookie: Good. Do Show accept Minister's challenge?
Big Show: Yes. I haven't had a real challenge yet. I faced Stevie, Booker T, Brock Lesnar, and I just recently beat the crap out of Vader. And you know what? Undertaker's better than all of them. I might not respect him as a person, but I respect his wrestling. It's almost as technical as mine! So, if there's going to be a real match at Genesis, it should be against Undertaker.
Cookie: Good. Show say something about technical wrestling. Styles and Lawler certainly didn't think so. What you say to them?
Big Show: It's not what I SAID that matters. It's what I DID. Just like for my MAIN EVENT at Rampage, match against Stevie (again), and title match at Genesis. It's not what you say that's going to get you the win. What matters is what you do in the ring. Undertaker and the rest of the Fatal Army like to talk smack about me being big, saying I'm "fat" and the biggest (no pun intended) "disappointment". They think winning a couple World Titles in different feds is considered a "disappointment". I don't see how that can be. And, about being "fat", I'm not fat, I'm big boned. Besides, I use my size to my advantage. Some people might not my wrestling style, but fuck them! It's not my fault that I don't get hurt from people's moves like most others. I dominate my matches. There are no near falls on my part. That's the way my matches are, and if Styles and Lawler don't like them, then tough.
Cookie: Good, good. Now, does Show have advice for Booker T, Show's partner at Rampage?
Big Show: You may be Intercontinental Champion right now, Booker, but I'm far more dominant than you. Just stay out of my way, and we'll win this match.
*Elmo runs on stage, comes to Big Show.*
Elmo: But, Booker HELP you at Rampage! Show can always use-
Big Show: Your ass is going down!
*Elmo immediately runs backstage, with Big Show nearing on him. The camera faces Cookie Monster, grinning with delight as he chows down on a pack of Oreos. The camera fades to black.*
