WWE Assault!
Posted by: ??? on 01/27/2003 at 17:07
*We are live at RAW! But, where are the wrestlers? Where are the announcers? Where is the ring? Where is the ramp? The only thing in the arena is the audience! Finally, after 20 minutes of nothing to start off RAW, Vince McMahon comes out to the middle of the ring. Vince looks upset, angry, and most importantly, flushed. He picks up a mic and speaks.*
It's been a long day, folks. When we got on the plane to fly to this arena, some bastard apparently snuck on the plane and got to where the non-carry-on luggage is stored and decided to dump ALL of the luggage off the plane! This meant all of the wrestler's wrestling clothes, all of the equipment to build the ring, and even our announcers. Then, when we arrived at the arena, I held a meeting with all of our wrestlers and staff to decide what to do. Then, some bastard turned off the lights, knocked us all out, and finally hogtied us all over a fire like roasting pigs! That's why I'm all flushed tonight! Fortunatley, the police came and got us down. They don't know who got on the plane, or who hogtied us, but they say it has to be two different people. Only a little guy could sneak onto the plane that we were on and fit in the storage area, and only a big guy could do the latest incident to us. So, I'm sorry to inform you that I have to cancel RAW tonight.
*Incredibly loud boos fill the arena. Various objects are thrown at Vince. All of the sudden, the lights go out! All we hear is a thud, more than a few whaps, and worse, screams. The lights finally come back on, only to see Vince naked and tied to the turnbuckle. He's upside down, with bruises all over his body. He's unconcious. The camera takes a look outside the ring, and we see two very bent chairs! The crowd goes nuts, but RAW is still cancelled. The WWE copyright bar comes up, and TNN switches America's Stupidest Home Videos, starring Bob Sagat!*
Bob: Knock knock. Bob. Bob Sagat! hehehehe
Audience (with some people dying of lauhgter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*That's enough of that show. Camera fades to black.*
