It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won't you be mine? Could you be mine? It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won't you be, could you be, won't you be my neighbor? Won't you be, could you be, won't you be my neighbor?
*Yup, it's that time again on the FTR Kids Channel. The General is decked out in his best red zip-up cardigan and black tie, not to mention the nice black slacks. And of course, he's changed to sneakers, because you always wear sneakers in the house. He sits on the steps by the door, talking directly into the camera.*
"Well, hello boys and girls! Wasn't Rampage just swell? Why, I got a match against Kendo Ka Shin, and it was a real blast. Sure, it only took about 2 minutes, but it was the best two minutes of the card!
"You know what my win means, don't you boys and girls? Can you guess? *pause* THAT'S RIGHT! I do get to face someone for a chance at becoming a Five-Star General! Then I'm really good, and everyone'll like that! Plus, I'll get to fight some Eddy Guerrero guy for a 'World Title,' but let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm just waiting on Mr. McGreenly to see who I have to fight in that match."
*DING-DONG!*
"Wow! The doorbell! I wonder who that could be..."
*He opens it to reveal...*
Phil: *sip* Ha ha ha. Hi Jeff.
Jeff: Why, it's Phil, the owner of the coffee shop! What are you here for?
Phil: *sip* Umm...aren't you touring the shop today?
Jeff: Oh...um, hold on. *turns to the screen* Hey boys and girls! Let's see if Phil will give us a tour of the coffee shop!
Phil: *sip* Uh, okay. Ha ha ha.
*We see a really, really fake looking overhead view of their "town," which seems to be made of colored construction paper. Jeff and Phil are in the black block of said paper, presumably a car, driving to the white piece of construction paper with "Phil's Coffee" written on it in crayon. After going down 3 streets and passing a 5 vehicle car crash, they arrive at the destination, where we cut to live action in the coffee shop.*
Jeff: Well, here's Phil's Coffee. Phil, show us around!
Phil: Uh, here's the counter, where I get money. *sip* Ha ha ha. Over there's the coffee brewer, and in back's the break room. That's about it.
Jeff: Wow! This sure is a neat coffee shop, Phil!
*Jeff looks in the corner and sees...*
Mr. McGreenly: ...and he said "Rectum? Almost killed 'im!"
Glen: *sarcastically* HA HA HA Tom! Hey, how about telling MORE than the punchline next time!
Jeff: *walking over* Hey, it's Mr. McGreenly and Glen, the bitter town idiot!
Glen: Hey!
Jeff: Well, Mr. McGreenly, do you have any mail for me?
Mr. McGreenly: Just this one letter...IQ I believe. *Hands the letter over*
Jeff: Gold plated envelope...it must be IQ! Thanks, Mr. McGreenly!
Mr. McGreenly: No problem!
*Jeff opens the letter and reads it aloud.*
General Jarrett,
Congratulations on your successful TV show and excellent Iron Man Title run. You've got one last defense at Rampage- Chavoman in a ladder match. You win, you get to face Eddy at Genesis.
Good luck,
Genius IQ
Jeff: Chavoman? Why, he reminds me of something that happened in Pretendville just the other day...
*A bullet train goes by in the background (does that *#)*% track go everywhere?), taking us all to Pretendville. And look, it's King March and Killer Bob.*
Killer Bob: You are evil!
King March: No, Killer Bob, you are the evil one. Your name's Killer Bob.
Killer Bob: LIAR! I SHALL BEAT YOU WITH MY SUPER POWERS! CHAAAAAAARGE!
*Killer Bob spears King March, but bounces off.*
King March: Silly Bob, you don't have super powers!
*We cut back to the General's house, where he now is seated.*
Jeff: See, Chavoman? You may not be evil, but I don't think you have super powers. Thus, I'll win.
Well, that's all the time we have this week, kids! Bye-bye!
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won't you be mine? Could you be mine? It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won't you be, could you be, won't you be my neighbor? Won't you be, could you be, won't you be my neighbor?
