The man, the myth, the legend. I am none of these things.
Posted by: The H-Bomb Horace Hogan on 01/24/2003 at 14:29
*Fade in to a fast food restruant, it looks to be Wendys. There is a lot of yelling going on as the camera focuses on an angry customer. Its an extremly fat woman who seems to be slinging lettuce at whomever is working the register*
Fat Woman: You idiot! Every day I come in here and all I want is 6 Jr. Bacon Cheese Burgers and every day you give me 5 Jr. Bacon Cheese Burgers and one half eaten one. And Every day you say that a damn rat ate it. ANd every single day you have BACON ON YOUR FACE!!
*The camera now turns to face the man at the register and it is Horace Hogan. Still goofy looking, Still bald, Still with those empty eyes*
Horace:(While chewing) Come on dawg, I promise I didnt eat your hamburger.
Woman: YOUR EATING IT NOW!!
Horace:(swallows) Come on hooch mamma you know I wouldnt do that to ya. The H-Bomb is working for you!
*Gives his best "I respect you smile"*
*Woman maces H-Bomb*
Horace: (from the ground seemingly crying) Daaamn woman. Why you gots to play the playa? The H-bomb aint here to be hated on.
Woman: You. Are. White.
Horace:(getting up) Yea, like Eminem!
Woman: Or vanilla ice?
Horace: Ouch.
Woman: Idiot.
*At this point a large angry looking man comes out of an office. Not nearly as tall as Horace but just the same he looks so much more imposing*
Horace:(while wiping eyes) Sup G Money?
Boss: Christ Horace did you eat this womans 6th Hamburger again?
Woman: Yes sir he did. AGAIN!
Horace: Boss...I just get Hungry. Meals are few and far between these days. Its not like the glory days when I was pimpin it in the nWo.
Boss:No you werent. Stop lying. Liar.
Horace: WAS TOO! Me and Scott Norton and Stevie Ray and Bryan Adams. Straight up Pimpin it.
Boss: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. The B Team. Right. I remember. Pimpin it. *chuckles* Yeah.
Horace:Yeah The H-Bomb was really a superstar.
Woman:So...um...can I get my food? Anna Nicole is on soon.
Horace: Oh right sorry hooch momma. Hold on just a sec babe.
Boss: Horace...did just call that woman...hooch momma?
Horace:Right on home boy.
Boss: Im not your hom- ah nevermind. Listen your fired.
Horace: Yea...I kinda figured. Besides Im gonna go be a superstar in the FTR anyway.
Boss:Right then. You do that.
Horace *now looking into the camera*: Look out world The H-Bombs gonna come and drop the...H...Bomb...ah hell I messed up. Look out world Horace Hogan is gonna come drop the H-Bomb on you. There.
*Horace leaves the counter and noticibly skips out the Wendys door to whatever his destiny may be*
