Phone Call (Outlaws)
Posted by: Two O.G.s on 01/23/2003 at 21:01
*Sitting on the leather couch are Marlena and America's favorite wrestler/pimps, Goldust and Godfather. Bottles of champagne are about as they celebrated their victory over The Mamalukes.*
The sun is set, the stars shine in the sky, the night air is tinged in anticipation, and it is time to meet The Continental.
Godfather: Ah, good! Goldie, this is The Continental on SNL. It's a guy, played by my man Christopher Walken, who does all the wrong things to get the ladies.
You look so lovely. It is as if Michelangelo sculpted you by hand, then kept you for himself...in a closet...to visit on lonely nights. Would you care for a glass of champagne?
Marlena: He doesn't seem too bad at all! He complimented the lady and offered her a drink. It would work for me!
Godfather: Oh, you just wait, Marlena. You wait.
*The phone rings to the theme of Shaft, Godfather picks it up.*
Godfather: 'Lo? HEY! How are you feeling? (to Goldust and marlena) It's one of the ladies in the hospital!
*Godfather presses the speakerphone button.*
Ho: Well, you know, we're getting better every day. Won't be long until Katie walks again.
Marlena: HEY! It's Marlena! I miss you!
Ho: Miss you, too, Marlena. Listen, the reason I called was to congratulate you guys on your win in the tourney at Rampage.
Goldust: Thanks, woman. Well, we proved to you that we're winners, will you come back to us? Please?
*Marlena takes notice of Goldust's desperate pleading and looks disgusted, but says nothing.*
Ho: Well, you DID win, but not against The Outlaws. Remember, it was they who put us through those tables. Until you do beat them, we're still with Juicy.
Whoops! What have I done? I have spilled champagne all OVER your boobs. How wonderful! They look like two ripe melons drenched in morning dew. Wait! Let me gently wipe them...oh...but you must get out of this clothing! You cannot leave like this! You catch...chest cold!...
Marlena: Hmm, I see what you mean, Godfather.
Ho: What are you guys talking about?
Godfather: Nothing. Listen, how can you work for a guy like Juicy?
Ho: Well, first, he provides us PROTECTION. He's paid for all the medical bills that should not have came to be in the first place. He cares about us, Godfather.
Godfather: I care for you. Juicy don't give a DAMN about your health! He's just getting you ready to make him some more money! Juicy is no good!
Ho (in an angry tone of voice): Well, until you can prove yourselves, we're still with Juicy.
*A loud click is heard as the conversation ends. Godfather turns off the phone.*
Goldust: Well, that went well. Great job!
Godfather: Shut up!
*They go back to watching the television.*
AHHH! Only kidding! I have been sprayed so many times that I have developed immunity to mace.
*The group bursts out laughing as any tension is released in laughter as the camera fades to black.*
