Retirement?
Posted by: Goldust on 11/20/2002 at 14:41
*A blinding flash of...green light? Fade to dark. Still dark...*
"DAMN IT!"
*Hear footsteps, camera turns on.*
"Hey, kids. Where y'wanna go?...That's right. To Uncle Nutzy's Clubhouse. And boy-oh-boy, are we gonna have big fun today. We're gonna have so much fun, we'll forget about how miserable we are, and how much life sucks, and how we're all gonna grow old and die someday."
"UHF. George Newman. His girlfriend just dumped him, he keeps losing jobs, his UHF station is almost out of business. He seems ready to just give up on life."
"Life sure seems to suck sometimes. Goldust gets thrown out of the Battle Royal within the first 10 seconds? Then, he loses to Eddie Guerrero 12 TO 2 in the Iron Man Match?! To top it all off, the Bizarre One loses to none other than Booker T in the FIRST ROUND of the Extreme Title tournament. The Bizarre One just can't win, can he? Why the hell should Eddie tag with, or even respect, a loser? That's why tonight, I will announce my-"
*Voice from a distance* "NEW TAG TEAM PARTNER!"
*What the- IT'S THE GODFATHER?! Godfather and the Ho Train appear.*
Godfather: "We still got a tag match at Rampage, against Eddie and Kidman. That is, IF Kidman is man enough to accept."
"Why are you so down on yourself, Goldie? Because you haven't won yet? So what, man? Everyone, even the Godfather, goes on losing streaks. You're still a good wrestler, man. Bizarre, but good and respectable. I mean, look at you. You are THE BIZZARE ONE. You have the Golden Globes! Now, does that mean you have an Oscar?"
*Godfather motions a ho to go over to Goldust. The ho sits on his lap.*
Goldust: "Oh, I think I'm in the mood to wrestle now..."
*Goldust does the sucking noise, then the bite. The ho on his lap gets freaked out and runs off.*
Godfather: "Man, you got things to learn about women, but since you're my partner, you can still ride the HO TRAIN."
*Godfather, Goldust, and the ho train get in a limo and drive off. Fade to dark.*
